Well it's Friday so we have our usual houseful of kids. Since school was out for Christmas and New Years our house guests wanted to come early on Wednesday this week. For about the past two months on Wednesday nights and from Friday through Sunday we normally have five sometimes six kids who stay with us so we can take them to church. These are friends of Braedens and Chloe's, some that go to school with them and others that they know through playing city league sports. It's become almost natural to fix 8 plates or line everyone up at McDonald's to take a mental note of what everyone wants (and order in the most cost effective way). :) It's remarkable to see each child find their seat then sit and patiently wait on everyone else to be seated so that we can all pray together before we eat. Some of these kids have been friends with Braeden and Chloe for about 6 years so they are accustom to how we do things here. Others have only just started coming over in the past couple months but have adapted almost right a way. There are always yes and no ma'ams and sirs all the way around along with please and thank yous.
I do think Chad and I have a different way of parenting than most people and I believe this is also why kids are so comfortable around us. With Braeden and Chloe of course we got our bluff in early, yes we believe in spanking our kids, but I can't remember when the last time we actually had to was. I'm almost positive it's been years for the both of them. We treat them and their opinions with respect....as long as they do the same toward us. Don't get me wrong when I say that, it doesn't mean they get their way all the time. It simply means that we listen to them and take their opinions and feelings into consideration. If we don't agree we calmly explain to them why and usually they end up understanding and seeing things our way. Sometimes we do allow them to make certain decisions on their own that they feel strongly about when we know that it is destine for failure, but only if we know they are going to learn an important life lesson through it. Afterwards, we can step in with a hug and gently explain why we opposed the situation in the first place.
For example, Braeden wanted so badly to have a "girlfriend". All through 5th grade he would come home saying how "everyone" had a boyfriend or girlfriend and that he was the only who didn't so he felt left out and not liked. We explained how it didn't mean he wasn't liked by any girls, maybe they were just too shy to let him know. Also, that school work was much more important than having a girlfriend and that he should try even harder to succeed in class, 5th grade ended up being such a rewarding school year for him. After school was out he begged us again to let him have a girlfriend. Since it was during the summer we allowed him to have a "girlfriend" that he could talk on the phone to and go certain places along with our family. We knew it wasn't something that would last so as the summer grew to an end so did their relationship and we prepared to comfort his breaking heart. Sure enough within the first week of the new school year, his girlfriend became distant.... and interested in another boy. Although we hated to see him so down, it was an eye opener for him and he realized that he wasn't ready to have a girlfriend and that he needed to focus of God and school. So many of our friends talk a good talk about how they don't "allow" their kids to have a boyfriend or girlfriend, when in fact these are the kids that are hugged up tight with someone of the opposite sex when I pull up to the school to pick up Braeden and Chloe. These are usually the parents who are so willing to declare, "how dare we allow our children to do the things we let them do," go figure.
Tonight we decided to take Braeden, Glenn, Chloe & Kile bowling. One of Chad's high school seniors from his youth group works at the local bowling alley and is always asking us to come sit and keep him company on his not so busy days. This was the perfect opportunity. As we sat there, Chad and Mikey were in a serious conversation about a friend of his from school, the four others were having a blast bowling together when all of their laughter seemed to lift my heart from the depths of me. I had been so discouraged lately because the adoption plans we had made for 2012 are having to be put on hold. It seemed like we had the perfect plan financially and time wise until the situation with Chad's job came up. After all the research in to local and international adoption, we had felt like God was definitely leading us to adopt outside of the United States especially after the missionary from Haiti came to speak at our church. Haitian adoption is extremely time consuming taking 18 to 24 months after you finish your paperwork and home study. Then we came across information about adopting from the Democratic Republic of Congo, everything seemed to be working out so perfectly. I believe with all my heart this is still the route God wants us to go just maybe not as soon as we had hoped. As soon as we can though we hope and pray we'll be able to add one possibly two children to our family.
For now, I'm content with the extras that God has placed in our home, even if is only for a few days at a time. In my heart I do know that it's for the best the we do wait on the adoption since Chad and I are already having to take separate vehicles to the same place in order to get all the kids there in their own seat belts, lol. I've realized that while I was trying to make a big impact and change some children's lives that are half way around the world that God has been working through Chad and I, changing the hearts and lives of these right here. I have seen such a change in their attitudes and their hearts as well. They share things with Chad and I and seem to count on us for advice. When they succeed at certain things they are quick to let us known their triumphs as soon as they get in to our car so that we can congratulate them. We have both witnessed God molding these kids into young but adamant,eager to learn and change the world themselves Christians. Sometimes at the end of the day we may not have anything left to give these kids physically but I rejoice now knowing that God just keeps refilling us spiritually so that we can keeping pouring it out on them. Thank you Lord for letting me see you using us so that hopefully you can touch others through these children that we love so much, it makes my heart smile :)
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