This week has been full of one trial after another. I can tell things are really getting to me when I find myself laying in bed at night over thinking every situation...."is this the Holy Spirit convicting me or is it the devil butting in to discourage me?" BLAH! I hate getting caught up in that conversation with myself, lol. Either way, I find more errors in my ways and start praying more diligently for God to let me see my faults clearer instead of being appalled by other's wrong doings. Praying also for Him to give me the wisdom to correct my own thoughts before they turn into actions and actually hurt someone else or blemish my own character in someone elses eyes. I know it's wrong for me to care what others think of me but it's an issue I'm working on since my heart yearns to please everyone... instead of just God. Here lately I've probably upset a few people by trying to take on different projects, and do them my way.
As much as I'm driven to help out here, there an everywhere, I'm starting to feel like instead of having my hand in a little bit of everything...maybe, just maybe, I should just have both of my hands up in the air cheering others on. Let's face it everyone needs a cheerleader or a support system in their lives or even just a quiet pat on the back once and a while. This is something I can definitely do and not be embarrassed by having to be right out in front of everyone.....it's right up my alley! Nothing embarrases me more than to have to speak or have my name said aloud for even a small group of people to hear. Quite frankly when someone does, I want to crawl into hole and hide. A few weeks ago I left from helping my husband teach his youth Sunday school class to take more of a back seat role in a ladies class. Let me tell ya it's been more of a blessing than I could've expected. I get to sit back and just listen...and learn from women who are much more mature in their Christian walk than I am. I feel so thankful that God used my insecurity to lead me to this group of ladies.
As one problem after another presented itself this week I felt myself feeling sicker to my stomach each day. I'm not necessarily a worrier but when things go wrong naturally I have a hard time going on as if nothing was wrong. My mind drifted to think of each of the ladies in my Sunday school class and also their prayer requests for the trials they're currently dealing with. It's awesome to see the diverse ways that each of us cope throughout our individual struggles. Normally by Thursday after having such an crazy week I would be ready to completely shut down and hide out with Chad and the kids for a few days at home inorder to block out the rest of the world. But....last Sunday I was asked if I could watch my 2 year old nephew each day this week while his mom was working. Ofcourse I jumped at the opportunity! Everytime I started feeling down, discouraged and even upset in the tiniest bit he would do or say the most precious thing possible. No matter what the devil tried to throw at me this week God sent me blessing after blessing not to mention smiles through a 2 year old. Now that it's Thursday I've lost count of all the "Wow God" moments I've had this week, how awesome is that?! You know we all those weeks when nothing goes right but isn't it great to know that God can make it all better with the simplest thing if we are willing to see past ourselves?
The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine upon you, and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up His countenance upon you, and give you peace. Numbers 6:24-26
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